


Screaming in Silence

by devilinthedetails



Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Curses, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Fear, Gen, Knight and Squire - Freeform, Magical manipulation, Ordeal, Overcoming Fear, Physical Abuse, Unhealthy Dynamics, magical compulsion, psychological abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 02:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilinthedetails/pseuds/devilinthedetails
Summary: Roger forces Alex to overcome his fear of silence before his Ordeal.





	Screaming in Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for emotional, physical, and psychological abuse. Please exercise discretion when choosing to read.

Screaming in Silence

“You’re approaching your Ordeal.” Duke Roger didn’t have to elaborate more on this idea to make the skin on Alex’s arms prickle with the imagined horrors that awaited him in the Chamber. 

“Yes, Your Grace.” Alex kept his reply as short–as perfunctory–as possible without being deemed disrespectful in the vain hope that this would dissuade the duke from continuing down this dark alley of thought. 

“It’s a knightmaster’s duty to ensure his squire is ready for the Ordeal.” Duke Roger’s fingers stroked at his as ever immaculately groomed beard as he studied Alex as if Alex were a vaguely askew portrait. “To guarantee, as it were, that his squire is prepared to face any fear in the Ordeal.” 

“I can face any fear, sir.” Alex’s chin lifted. He wasn’t so false in his pride as to pretend he had no fears but he was assured enough of his abilities to believe that he could overcome any fear. That was, he believed with the same flash of intuition that allowed him to anticipate sword strikes before they landed, what made him a true warrior. He wasn’t a warrior without fear, but he was a warrior stronger than fear. He wouldn’t flinch from any shadows in the Ordeal or in his own imagination. He would face them with his head held high like the knight in shining armor he had so often dreamed of becoming. 

“Can you?” Duke Roger arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow as he continued to rub musingly at his beard. “I remember that you showed such terror when you were regrettably impertinent, and I had to threaten to lock your jaw.” 

At the mere mention of this threatened punishment, Alex’s mouth went too sand-dry to insist that he wasn’t being impertinent now. It was just as well that he had been stunned into quiet, he decided, because there were shivers darting down his spine, and the quivers would have made his voice shake. Realizing that his hands were trembling, he tucked them into the pockets of his breeches, sweat smearing into the fabric. 

“I see from your reaction that you’re still afraid of that.” Duke Roger’s fingers were gentle as his murmur as his fingers grazed the outline of Alex’s jaw, which Alex reflexively clenched so his knightmaster wouldn’t feel his fear. “I think I have an obligation to you to help you overcome that fear before it cripples you, don’t you?” 

“You don’t have to concern yourself with that, Your Grace.” Alex licked lips that cracked when he spoke. 

“Oh, but I am concerned, squire–very concerned in fact.” Duke Roger’s fingers tapped Alex’s jaw reproachfully. “You see, your fear of silence is quite relevant to the question of whether you’ll be strong enough to pass your Ordeal. Never forget that you won’t be able to make a sound no matter what horrors you face during your Ordeal. Your jaw will have to be locked so your fear of having your jaw locked in that case becomes debilitating unless I cure you of it.” 

Alex opened his mouth to protest or to plea against this, but his knightmaster lifted a single finger. At first, Alex thought this gesture was only meant to discourage him from speaking. Then he recognized that it had been meant to truly silence him when his jaw, acting against his orders, snapped shut and refused to budge no matter how he willed it to move. His teeth ached with the pressure as he fought to force his jaw open and the magic controlling his mouth resisted him even more fiercely. He wanted to scream–was screaming inside–but he couldn’t move his cursed mouth and couldn’t be heard. 

He had never felt so powerless as he had now that his speech was taken from him. Finally he knew how convicts he’d had tongues removed felt. His vision blurred, and with a surge of rivaled only by his speechlessness, he understood that tears were filling his eyes, stinging them with salt. Absurdly grateful that at least his eyes were still his to command, he blinked away the tears and waited for his knightmaster to remove the spell since there was nothing else he could do. 

“That wasn’t so terrible as you imagined, was it?” Duke Roger inquired, all silk and smiles, as with a flick of his finger he freed Alex’s jaw from its bondage. 

“No, sir.” Alex was quick as a cat to tell the duke what he wanted to hear since that was more prudent than arguing or handing his knightmaster more fear to use as a weapon against him. 

“Good.” Duke Roger’s hand cupped Alex’s chin in a wordless reminder of how he could bind it closed with a lift of a finger. “You see that your fears are only in your mind now. You understand just in time for your Ordeal that it is your imagination that creates horrors for itself. Now I believe that manners require you to thank me for the lesson.” 

“I thank you for the favor of your valuable instruction, Your Grace.” Alex, wondering if he was a Player’s puppet or a squire on the cusp of knighthood, as he bowed obediently, noting the bitter irony that meant even when his jaw was unlocked, he wasn’t at liberty to speak his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> The locked jaw fear refers back to my story "Dally in Duty" but both are intended to be understandable independently.


End file.
